Bonding with your baby

Parents love their children. The process of building a relationship with a baby - of falling in love with one’s child - begins long before a baby is born and stirs up a variety of emotional responses. Many parents' first experience of this bond emerges as they begin to fantasize, hope, worry or feel stress about having a child.

The ideas about what it will be like to connect with and parent a young baby are shaped by our own life experiences. Parents to-be and new parents frequently recall their own experiences of being a child as they consider their new role and responsibilities. If they have been raised in an atmosphere of security, caring, and belonging, they may get in touch with warm and pleasant feelings. If their childhoods were anything but, they may feel some anxiousness about not repeating parts of the experience they have had. There may be ambivalence and uncertainty.

Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore the many emotions that arise for parents as they welcome a newborn into the world. We recognize that this developmental stage in a person’s life is not only meaningful, but also riddled with normative dilemmas and contradictions that a sleep-deprived caregiver who had just been woken up by a screaming baby for the fourth time in the span of six hours knows only too well.

As psychotherapists, we also understand that it may be more difficult to bond with a baby during periods of intense distress, such as when the baby is experiencing medical issues, has to stay in the NICU, or when the parent is dealing with postpartum mental health complications, loss of a loved one, or other challenging circumstances. Whatever your experience of bonding with your baby in these initial stages of your relationship, we are here to provide support and guidance with compassion and understanding.
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