Source: Photo by In Lieu & In View Photography on Unsplash In any relationship you are present as both a…
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Gottman Method
Clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman developed this evidence-supported method of relationship counseling based on years of research conducted to answer a complex question: what makes a relationship successful? For much of the history of couples counseling, treatment was based on myths and falsehoods about relationships. Instead of continuing to theorize without empirical basis, the Gottmans headed to the lab: they studied hundreds of couples in order to understand patterns that contribute to happiness or distress in a relationship. Their vast research is the foundation of The Gottman Method, and has even allowed John Gottman to be able to predict whether or not a long-term couple will succeed or break up with 90% accuracy. The Gottmans’ research culminated in the theory upon which their model is based: The Sound Relationship House.
The Sound Relationship House theory breaks down the crucial elements of a successful relationship into nine segments. If any floors of this metaphorical house are not strong, the house (and your relationship) may lose some of its structural integrity. The pillars that hold the Sound Relationship House together are Trust and Commitment. Without these two elements, the house will struggle to support itself. The other six elements can be separated into three domains that will be addressed in Gottman couples therapy: friendship and intimacy, constructive conflict, and creating shared meaning as a couple.
The Gottman Method is effective because it does not just focus on one aspect of the relationship, but uses a holistic, research-driven approach to address each aspect of the Sound Relationship House. The first few sessions are devoted to comprehensive assessment meant to determine the best course for treatment going forward. This more thorough start allows both the couple and the therapist to get on the same page and develop a strong plan for addressing the couple’s difficulties. From there, the evidence-based treatment helps the couple learn to become more connected and able to resolve conflict without the buildup of hurt and resentment.
Demystifying Gottman-Based Couples Counseling
We are inundated with relationships-focused books that offer a variety of often contradictory advice. The multitude of perspectives can be…
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