October Is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Experiencing a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss brings on unimaginable grief. Parents not only find themselves mourning the loss of their child, but also that of their dreams, fantasies, hopes for their family, identity, and new social status. Parents often feel lonely and misunderstood in their mourning. Our society tends to have a short attention span when it comes to supporting bereaved individuals, and we are collectively uncomfortable with sadness that cannot be quickly lifted; we do not know what to do or say. After a few days of well-meaning casseroles from friends, parents are left alone with their pain. In the case of miscarriage or stillbirth, there may barely be an acknowledgement of the loss. Often, if the loss was in the first half of the pregnancy, parents choose not to share it with the world, sensing that they would be met with inadequate understanding, or believing that they should be able to quickly move on; all of this while desperately wanting to move on.

Grief is a manifestation of love. After experiencing loss, we do not move on or forget. We are never really “done” grieving.  Instead, we eventually become able to carry the pain with us, and find meaning and connection in the world we are still a part of. We grow more resilient. To become more whole again, we need people around us who acknowledge the grief and the suffering, the enormity of it all. October is designated Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This is important – it is an opportunity to open our hearts to bereaved parents, and recognize their profound loss and all the emotions that accompany it, from anger to anxiety to guilt to hope. Just as grief is a manifestation of love, being willing to sit with another person in their experience of grief is also a manifestation of love.

Psychotherapy is one such space where mothers and fathers who have experienced perinatal loss can feel heard and seen, and find a way to cope and carry the pain at their own pace. At Wildflower, we are honored to be a part of this profound and difficult journey of healing.

About Aga Grabowski, LCSW, PMH-C, CST (she/her)

I am a co-founder of Wildflower, a psychotherapist, a presenter and a consultant in the area of perinatal and reproductive mental health.  Many other aspects of my personal identity shape my clinical work: chief among them is the family and immigrant background which has informed my attunement to the psychological upheaval that accompanies major life transitions and to the many sociocultural forces that impact our lived experience.

In my clinical work, I am focused on helping people thrive and cope during periods of significant change, and particularly during journeys towards and through parenthood which may involve infertility, losses, depression, anxiety, and conflict.  I work with people from all walks in life. Clients I work with are some of the strongest, most resilient folks I know. They don’t always feel this way, and they come to therapy feeling raw, maybe lost, and certainly quite vulnerable. It takes courage to confront your pain and struggle. I view psychotherapy as a deeply collaborative process that aims to help you discover and tap into your strengths and resources.  You already have what it takes to feel better, be happier, face challenges – good psychotherapy basically helps you access all that. This can only happen if your therapist genuinely cares about and respects you and is invested in their own ongoing professional development and personal growth.

I have extensive training in perinatal and reproductive mental health, evidence-based treatment of mood and anxiety disorders, sex therapy, and trauma.  I earned my bachelor’s degree in international studies at the University of Chicago and obtained my master’s degree in clinical social work at the University of Chicago School of Social Service Administration.  I often present on topics related to mental health. I am an AASECT-certified sex therapist and a certified perinatal mental health clinician. My most valuable learning experiences come from my clients: their experience, wisdom and perspective have shaped my clinical practice the most, something I am deeply grateful for.

LCSW License Number:149016046
Type 1 NPI Number: 1841631132
Accepts: BCBS PPO and BlueChoice plans, Lyra, self-pay and out of network clients

Pronouns
she/her/hers

Selected training and affiliation
AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist
Certified Perinatal Mental Health Clinician
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Training
Bringing Baby Home Educator Training, Gottman Institute
Circle of Security Parent Educator
Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) training
Gottman Method Level 1 training
Dialectical Behavior Therapy Training

Key beliefs
People are stronger and more resilient than they often realize.
Our culture teaches us to be fiercely independent. To thrive, we need to embrace being interdependent -- deep connection with others is essential for happiness.

More about me
I love the outdoors and hiking, camping, kayaking.
I can’t live without chocolate.
I feel grateful every day for getting to do the work I love.